Getting Married? Why?

A Story

It was at night. I and my two friends spent few minutes at Kuala Lumpur City Center, KLCC’s garden after enjoy watched the Chinese film at cinema. We didn’t expect that the film will finish early, that was around ten o’clock. As the night still early, we decided to relax for a while before take the LRT and back to International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM).

We were discussing a lot of thing and as a Muslim youth we cannot pretend ourselves from discussing about married. Who don’t want to get married, to have a beloved one who always close us, have a cute baby that we will nurture to be a good person? Unless if you are not a normal person you must have that dreams.

It interesting when my friend said;

I don’t know why I supposes to have a girlfriend now. I’ve girlfriend before but we split up. After that, I not even try to find a new one. For me, looking for partner mean looking for marriage. So, what I suppose to find if I don’t have capabilities to get married yet. I’m still studying, no job, no money, no my own house. Maybe in the future, at the moment I’ve everything and ready to have a family, I will start find. My mother also said the same thing.

I added

That’s why I always told myself that our life based on three things: where we come from? Where we are now? And where we are going to the future? I’m not talking about akhirat, I’m talking about the worldly affair, our dream for future

Getting Married? Why?

Ok, today we are going to have public speaking. So, some of you will have come in front talk about a certain topic. The topic today is marriage. We will see how you feel to be in front of people and speak.

My English lecturer speaks loudly. Very lucky, I was the one of the students that has been chosen to speak in front. Maybe, he seen me quit nervous at the back row afraid if he calling my name.

I walk to the front with very nervous feeling. Then I said;

For me, there are three things that people must have in their mind before they get married, why they need to get married. Insya-Allah, if there have these things, they marriage will be fine, even if there is problem a couple will able to handle.

First, we get married because it is a human requirement. We need to love other and at the same time, we need also somebody to love us. Also, marriage is as the way to fulfill our sexual requirement, make our partner halal for us.

Secondly, we get married for purposes of the continuity of human being. Once you get married, you will plan to have children. Then, when your children get married, they also will plan for having children. So that, the human race will not perish from the planet’s earth.

Thirdly, we get married for the sake of society. If we go back to any past civilization, you will see and understand that the core of civilization is the society. And the core of society is family. So, by marriage, having husband, wife and children and nurture them to be good person, means we built a good family and human resources that will benefit the society, the ummah.

Everyone silence. I did not whether they understand or not. I finish my public speaking with relieve, relieve because it is not easy for me to speak in front of people, and also relieve because be able to give my idea.

Now, lets me explain more about the three things general thing that must possess in the Muslim youth once they want to get married.

First, Marriage is human requirement
Human characteristics can be divided into two, humanism and animalism. Humanism related to feeling of love, caring, responsibility while the sexual relationship is a part of the animalism. These two states are requirement in human life, and the correct way to fulfill has been described by Islam.

Marriage is enjoined in Islam, making the life of man and woman to be in lawful union but based on the mutual consent. The purpose of marriage is to foster a state of tranquility and compassion for the couple, providing a lawful means to enjoy the sexual pleasure. It is nature of mankind, created by Allah to desire a part of the opposite sex to seek comfort and love. Thus, halal relationship not only will safeguard procreation but also make the person into the state of tranquility and peace by giving and receiving love from the spouse.

Second, continuity of human being and Third, for the sake of society
I always ask myself, if I leave this world, what the valuable thing should I left to the world? What the thing that I should inherited to this planet? The thing will give the better future of the world?
After have a long thought, I get the answer.
Yes!, it’s the children.

The children are best thing that we can inherit to the world. Inherit the children to world means we are providing something for the future, a people with ability to develop human race and country and at the same not put aside the Islamic rules. The future Muslim that remember there are khalifah of Allah, thus every of their action will reflect their role.

But to inherit the children to the world is not easy as we thought. Of course, to have it is easy but to educate and nurture to be a good Muslim can be challenging to the parents. While the world has changed and children are more likely to influence by environment, internet, television and friends, the way of nurturing the children could be different from the past 50 years, but the basis is the same, that is Islam must be the core or principal of it.

The best and the first ‘product’ ever been produced by human being was not the car or airplane or building or rocket or train or etc but the human being, the baby. While those thing required years of research and development before it can be produced, a baby can be produced by any mature mankind, but yet still complicated and miracles in the eyes of Allah’s creation. So, if you have chance to have it, please make sure you have it in the right way, the way that allow by Islam. With respect to current situation, many of babies have been produce in the wrong way, and are treating like animals: being through away in river, being left in the mosque and not to say is through away like rubbish in dumpsite. Oh! Mankind, why are you so cruel?

Conclusion
The whole idea why I write this short entry is to give the reader the general idea what marriage is all about. And by interpret the concept marriage as a whole; we can be more aware of our responsibility as a husband, a father, a mother and not to forget our indirect responsible to the future of Muslim and world. It is fear for me to see the current condition of society, while the zina become normal, the baby dumping happen almost every day and the divorce amongst young couple at alarming rate. If this continues and keeps increasing, without any proactive action not only by government but also society, the future of the Muslim is uncertain.

Husband to be respect, Wife to be protect, Children to be nurture, Life to be savior.